Yes, I know that should be spelled ‘Reign’. I’m trying to be clever, so before you say anything, shut up.
Everything I own keeps breaking and fucking up because of the stupid weather we are having here.
My garage door blew off it’s hinges during the cyclone and spent three days smashing into the back of my shiny car while I was off being evacuated from the hospital and transferred 2000km away, which necessitated being hurled about in the back of a Hercules in a sardine stack, with the bitch above me pissing every three seconds and the slag below me pulling on my support strap which in turn pulled on my freshly sliced and diced abdomen. Obviously I was unable to prevent the damage to either my garage door, my car, or my mental and physical state in general.
I haven’t been able to get my car in to get serviced yet, as it’s the car with the baby seat, I haven’t been allowed to drive for 6 weeks after the caesarean and then it’s been pissing with rain so often and so hard, I’ve forgotten what the sun looks like and have become accustomed to not being able to hear the television or even a simple conversation over the incessant noise of the rain.
The day I decided to go out driving it’s not raining that hard. I pack the baby up and off we go for our first day out because if I stayed at home one more day I would have likely blown my brains out from boredom. Seriously. There is only so much TV one can take before your arse gets pressure sores. It was a lovely day. James wants us to come and visit him for lunch so off we go. I get her out of the car and shut the door and the fucking window falls through the door. The windows are electric and won’t go up. Then it starts to rain. The broken window is the one right next to Cailee’s baby seat.
I ring Mitsubishi and tell them my sad story. They say they’ll fit me in in about two weeks time. I say that’s not good enough, pull the whole I have an itty bitty baby, she’ll get rained on, I won’t be able to go anywhere until it’s fixed, boo hoo I’m a sad sorry bag of hormones, woe is my life, crying woman thing and they agree to fix it immediately. I guess being a Drama student actually paid off, because I was actually full of rage and anger than anything else.
They fixed it.
Yesterday we go out for the first time as the three of us. We had a lovely day. On our way to the city, James drove around a roundabout at fairly breakneck speed as always (his theory is that if you don’t drive the car to it’s limits it won’t respond properly when you need it to) and I hear a really loud bang, like something has hit the car right next to me. No shattered glass or anything so we both dismissed it as a rock on the road.
Lovely day was had, do de doo. Time to go home. I walk to the back of the car to get in next to Cailee and lo and behold, the other window had fallen through the door. Must have happened when I got out of the car. Guess what? It’s fair pissing with rain again and we’ve got a 25 minute drive home. AWESOME SAUCE!!!
Now I’m stuck with a car I can’t drive in the rain, a rain forecast for the next three weeks, and I’m pretty sure the other car doesn’t have a tether for a baby seat so we’re fucked.
Oh and the best bit? I have to keep my expensive NEW(ish) car with a broken window, in our garage… WITH NO FUCKING GARAGE DOOR! So all the neighbourhood cats and dogs can get in and piss all through it (shut a blanket in the window to keep them out) and it’s basically sitting there waiting to be stolen.
